Board Thread:Versus Debates/@comment-27717552-20160518183234/@comment-25271914-20160531093850

BakumatsuWarrior wrote: Jiraiya vs the Moya Triad.

Jiraiya is travelling throughout the world, researching on the enormous varieties of tits and asses, when he spots an unearthly beauty bathing in the hot springs. Nose bleeding and heart thumping, Jiraiya makes a near-perfect sketch of the heavenly beauty in his notebook, while his central pole silently roars with the thunder of Zeus. Drowning in lust and burning with the passion of Cupid, Jiraiya's eyes trace a vertically oscillating path: now looking at her face; then looking down at her bosoms; and finally going down further and looking at her well-rounded bottom, before slowly glancing upwards to stare at her bosoms again, and then the face, and then the bosoms, and on and on.

Despite the blood oozing from his noze; despite the intense thumping of his chest; and despite the adamantine stiffness of his central pole, bulging with the strength of Hercules; Jiraiya remains unseen and undiscovered. For he is a master spy and infiltrator, who could peek on naked women unseen even as a preteen kid. And hence, the spying session was devoid of any drama.

UNTIL the Moya Triad came crashing into the hot springs, that is. The eldest brother, Aniki, had long been enamoured by our heavenly nymph. He too was suffering from nose bleeding, heart thumping and pole rocking. Blinded by passion, and desperate to get a glimpse of his love, Aniki blindly disregarded all sense of decorum and crashed into the hot spring with the help of his brothers.

Down on his knees, with a beautiful red rose clasped in his outstretched hand, Aniki bravely tries to declare his love to the naked woman. But so overcome by lust, and so overwhelming was the passion she ignited in him, that Aniki's central pole roared with a volcanic eruption; and stained his trousers with a creamy, white, viscous liquid; before going limp like a deflated balloon. Everyone stared in shock at the creamy white mess that was now Aniki's trousers. Scared out of her wits, and embarrassed beyond imagination due to the sudden gaze of public eyes leering on her unclad body, our heavenly beauty quickly grabs her clothes to protect her dignity. This sudden concealing of her body abruptly broke the spell that had been binding Jiraiya for so long. Eyes flashing in anger and face red with rage, Jiraiya prepares to maul the three invaders.

"How DARE you interrupt my spying session, you knuckle-headed idiots!!!" growled Jiraiya as he jumped in front of the three sissies.

"Who the hell are you?" cried out the two younger brothers in unison, for now Aniki's confidence was as limp as his central pole, and so he was as silent as a rock.

"I am Jiraiya, one of the three Legendary Sanin of Konoha!! You've made a big mistake by interrupting my spying mission!!"

Intimidated by the legendary name of this adversary, the younger brothers shriek in fear. But Aniki has recovered from his shock and humiliation. All he sees is his lady love, and a stranger trying to rob him of his desire. Disregarding the white stain on his trousers, Aniki picks up his courage and scolds his brothers for their cowardice.

"You cowards!! If you really are my brothers, then help me prove my love to my lady and beat the shit out of this old geezer!!"

Motivated by Aniki, the younger brothers come back to their senses and pledge their support for their elder brother. Together, the three quickly stand their ground in their trademark Moya Triad Pose.

"Jiraiya!! We'll defeat you and win the heart of the lady here!!" cried the Moya Triad in unison.

"Hmph!! Small fries!!", Jiraiya thought as he smirked.

Abruptly, the Moya Triad charge towards Jiraiya. Unfazed and unafraid, Jiraiya slowly formed a fist with both his hands, positioned his arms in a horizontal position right next to his hips, with his arms making an angle of 90 degrees with his legs. With the Moya Triad only a few feet away, Jiraiya suddenly gave a majestic, powerful pelvic thrust. The force of the thrust created a shockwave so strong that the Moya Triad were instantly blown away!! In fact, they were blown away so far that they landed right into the moon, where their pulverized corpses were discovered by the Otsustsuki Clan.

And this is how the Moya Triad met their end. For Jiraiya was an extremely powerful shinobi. And powerful shinobis can blow the air around them into a powerful wind with a mere raise of one of their fingers (Edo Tobirama), or create deep cracks within a room with a slight stomp of their foot (Edo Hashirama). In Jiraiya's case, a simple pelvic thrust did the trick.

Of course, it should not be forgotten that not even the strongest of shinobis are invincible. For the heavenly beauty, for whom this battle was fought, somehow chanced upon Jiraiya's notebook, and saw her own unclad body imprinted within its pages. Mad with rage, her countenance morphed from that of a heavenly angel to that of a monstrous beast. And so our heroine walked towards Jiraiya, tapped on his shoulder, and when Jiraiya turned back, the nymph gave him a crushing blow to his balls!!

"Disgusting perverts!!" shouted the nymph-turned-monster as she left the hot spring in a fury.

And thus ended Jiraiya's spying mission for that day. In the end, a pelvic thrust that could send three men to moon was finally undone by the crushing blow of an ordinary woman.

THE END